Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Types of Men I Refuse To Date

And if any dude is reading this, I'm sure that the same things can be applied towards females.

1) The Criticizer- If you can’t do anything right, you have found Mr. Wrong.

2) The Leech- The dude who brings the camera on the first date. Wants to tag along with you anywhere you go. Starts bringing up marriage within first few dates.

3) The Neglecter- “I’m gonna call you right back boo.” Right back to him is two weeks later.

4) The Pathological Liar- “My bad. Did I say Porsche? A Hyundai kinda looks like a Porsche, right?” Might as well call him Mr.Pinnochio.

5) The Show Off- Gives you a whole damn inventory of his possessions within the first ten minutes of your first date. Exaggerates importance of position at work. (ie: Tells you he works at a law firm, what he leaves out is that he works in the mail room)

6) The Know it All- You can’t tell him nothing. Try it, and he will tell you that you can’t tell him nothing.

7) Mr. Cocky- Thinks he is god’s gift to mankind. Every other sentence starts with “I”.

8) The Lush- Refuses to go out to any place that doesn’t serve alcohol. Has a flask handy at all times.

9) The Abuser- Extremely jealous. Tells you who you can talk to. Fantasized Aggression (ie: I swear if he looks at you again, I’m going to rip his head off)

10) The Pleaser- Sends you flowers every day to your job to tell you he’s thinking about you. Calls you every hour, on the hour, to see how your day is going. He’s there at your beck and call and you don’t even need a bell.

11) Too Far Without A Car- Lives in West bumblefuck and doesn’t even own a car. Oh, but don’t worry, he has a monthly metro card-SIKE!

12) The Cheater- “Baby, I swear, that was my sister who picked up my phone”.

13) The Busy Bee- Has way too much going on with work and side projects that he barely has time for you. Absence makes the libido wander.

14) The Sex Feen- First question he asks every time he calls is “What are you wearing?”. Overly touchy feely in public and always offering to buy you more drinks. Can not stop talking about his penis.

15) The Embryo- He tells you he’s 4 years older than you, and then later confesses, he is actually two years younger.

16) Deadbeat Dad- If he doesn’t give a shit about his own flesh and blood, what the hell makes you think he will give a shit about you?

17) The Player- Says he’s retired the Jersey but his phone does not stop ringing after 3am.

18) Momma's Boy- The one who lives with his mother AND mooches off her. This excludes the dude who lives with her and pays the bills because he wants to, not because he has to.

19) Semi-Taken- When you ask him what his situation is, he will tell you "It's complicated" And we all know this means he still talking to his ex.

I'm sure there is plenty more, but this is all I could think of for now.


  1. LOL...That list didn't leave many options available.

  2. LMAO But who else is left? I think I’ve dated a combination of some of these, including recently, the player/lush…not a good look…lol. Big shout to #11, my dude who lives in West Bumblefuck lmfao!!

  3. so, minus the critizer, i've been with all. i started to name which ones i've been with the most. as i went through the list again... i realized it was way too many. smh.

    nice blog.

  4. ouch...true. funny but true...i got something for that. lol

  5. leaves plenty of options.

    But let's just remember, this is just men that I don't DATE. Everything else is a go. lol