Thursday, September 10, 2009

Good On Paper, And That's About It.

The past few weeks have brought several new guys in to my little world. (I'd venture to say too many guys, but really, that would be a lie. You can never have too many guys.) So I've been thinking about something I call "Good on Paper Guys." These are the guys that if you were to pick a boyfriend solely based on his dating résumé would make it to your short stack and called in for an interview. I've met several of these guys recently, and I'm not complaining (much). They look great on paper, and read like a good book. But then you meet them and they break down into multiple categories from there. Some continue to be great, some let you know that they believe themselves to be great on paper, and others remind you that anyone can pad a résumé. Which is why the interview is so important, right? (And why we don't allow our mothers to arrange our marriages.)

Too Good on Paper= Too Good for Himself

One particular new friend really qualifies as good on paper. He has a good job, interesting career, nice home, nice car, disposable income, he's talented, smart, interesting, funny, etc. And his photo is worth keeping under your pillow. And I can tell you from firsthand experience, he passes the interview. So what is the problem? He knows he is good on paper, therefore, loses points for cockiness, and for his complete, total, horrifying inability to commit.

Too In Demand

Then there is guy #2, equally qualified as the previous candidate. He seems to know his résumé will get passed around, but isn't pompous about it. Instead he earns 3-pointers for his humility. The problem with him? Every girl in town wants to interview him. To his credit, he appears to be willing to interview everywhere. But the waiting time to get in with him is just so long that you have to wonder if he's worth the wait.

Too Just Not for Me

I've met a few guys that come highly recommended and look decent on paper, but don't jump out at you. I've had some fun with these guys lately and made some new friends this way, but the truth of it still stands. They aren't the candidate I was looking for.

But then there are "Good on Paper Guys" who interview horribly. You think they are going to be perfect. You get your hopes up. You are ready to make a very high starting offer, but then... No! They either don't show up for the interview, reject the request for the interview, or just plain bomb the interview. Sometimes you are still even willing to give them a second chance. True chemistry can take time and practice. But no matter what you do you can't get past it. And it is so frustrating, because they were so well qualified on paper. Your heart is broken over something that doesn't really exist. And you have to throw the résumé away, and look at the other candidates, which is next to impossible because their credentials just don't add up! Part of you knows that you just have to forget they existed, burn the résumé, hit the delete key, erase your memory, and move on. Give the other candidates their fair chance. But part of you knows that your heart can't really ever forget anything. Can it? No matter how good or bad the other candidates look on paper..

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Perfect Relationship.

I'm going to make God the main man in my life

When me and God's relationship is right, everything else just kinda falls into place. If work feels like it's demanding too much, I kick it with God and he reminds me of my purpose. If life's obstacles seem too much for me to handle, God wraps his arms around me and reminds me of what we've accomplished together in the past. If loneliness is tempting me to lay my heart down in a place it can't help but get stepped on, God reminds me that heartache is what tends to set in when a woman calls a man to do the job that was only intended for him.

Fulfilling a hunger for a love unconditional, one that never abandons or dissapoints, one that replaces imperfect love of a flawed parent or never fails to come through in our time of need is a very heavy task. And a damn near impossible assignment made of mere flesh and blood. That kind of loving is best provided by a divine and perfect spirit. By giving God his proper place, I free myself from fear-because I know someone out there has got my back. Regardless.