Thursday, September 10, 2009
Good On Paper, And That's About It.
The past few weeks have brought several new guys in to my little world. (I'd venture to say too many guys, but really, that would be a lie. You can never have too many guys.) So I've been thinking about something I call "Good on Paper Guys." These are the guys that if you were to pick a boyfriend solely based on his dating résumé would make it to your short stack and called in for an interview. I've met several of these guys recently, and I'm not complaining (much). They look great on paper, and read like a good book. But then you meet them and they break down into multiple categories from there. Some continue to be great, some let you know that they believe themselves to be great on paper, and others remind you that anyone can pad a résumé. Which is why the interview is so important, right? (And why we don't allow our mothers to arrange our marriages.)
Too Good on Paper= Too Good for Himself
One particular new friend really qualifies as good on paper. He has a good job, interesting career, nice home, nice car, disposable income, he's talented, smart, interesting, funny, etc. And his photo is worth keeping under your pillow. And I can tell you from firsthand experience, he passes the interview. So what is the problem? He knows he is good on paper, therefore, loses points for cockiness, and for his complete, total, horrifying inability to commit.
Too In Demand
Then there is guy #2, equally qualified as the previous candidate. He seems to know his résumé will get passed around, but isn't pompous about it. Instead he earns 3-pointers for his humility. The problem with him? Every girl in town wants to interview him. To his credit, he appears to be willing to interview everywhere. But the waiting time to get in with him is just so long that you have to wonder if he's worth the wait.
Too Just Not for Me
I've met a few guys that come highly recommended and look decent on paper, but don't jump out at you. I've had some fun with these guys lately and made some new friends this way, but the truth of it still stands. They aren't the candidate I was looking for.
But then there are "Good on Paper Guys" who interview horribly. You think they are going to be perfect. You get your hopes up. You are ready to make a very high starting offer, but then... No! They either don't show up for the interview, reject the request for the interview, or just plain bomb the interview. Sometimes you are still even willing to give them a second chance. True chemistry can take time and practice. But no matter what you do you can't get past it. And it is so frustrating, because they were so well qualified on paper. Your heart is broken over something that doesn't really exist. And you have to throw the résumé away, and look at the other candidates, which is next to impossible because their credentials just don't add up! Part of you knows that you just have to forget they existed, burn the résumé, hit the delete key, erase your memory, and move on. Give the other candidates their fair chance. But part of you knows that your heart can't really ever forget anything. Can it? No matter how good or bad the other candidates look on paper..