The Greatest Boyfriend I NEVER had.

Long, long before I became a bitch – in fact, when I was still a high-school virgin – a really, really nice boy was completely in love with me ... and I was absolutely, positively oblivious to the fact that he was.

"Chi" and I met at through mutual friends the summer before our sophomore year of high school. He was my friends cousin and he was out here from Chicago for summer break. Even though he was a Cubs fan and I was(and still am) a die hard Yankees fan, we immediately bonded over Baseball.

Here are all the signs the boy loved everything about me:

• He painted my toenails for me.
• He talked to me for hours.
• He bought me the 12" vinyl version of 'Like Water For Chocolate'- Common.
• He even flew out here from Chicago to see me almost every other month.

Here are all the reasons it never even occurred to me that Chi was interested in me:
Except for a different boy my freshman year, who I used to smooch with here and there, I had never had a boyfriend or been on a real date.

Even though I was actually pretty cute and sort of knew it when I looked at pictures of myself but I was a tomboy.At the time I wanted to be a boy(only because I wanted to play sports with the boys) I dressed like one had short hair like one.

I was jumpy around men. Probably due to one of my father's methods of discipline: Smacking. Out of nowhere, Smack! He'd zing me with a backhand slap to the forehead.

Chi never came right out and said, "I really, really like you. Do you wanna go with me?" Years later, we reconnected by phone and he confirmed, "I was so completely in love with you. Why do you think I painted your toenails?"

But the truth is, I never knew Chi cared about me, because it never even occurred to me that anyone could be attracted to me. I thought of him as a "friend," not because I wasn't attracted to him, but because it didn't occur to me that I should be attracted to him.

I had a blind spot when it came to nice, sweet, wholesome, smart, wonderful and not-at-all bad-looking boys who happened to be crazy about me. And unfortunately, that blind spot followed me well into my adult life.

Hangover+Extra Dose Of Regret=Not a Good Look

Most people who know me refer to me as the "lush" of the bunch. I always know all the good drinks at whatever bar/restaurant we are at. I love a good cocktail. However, I DO NOT love to get so sloppy drunk that I have to be carried out of the bar by people. That is just not cute.

When we are tipsy, thoughts are all over the place in our brains, slip out of our mouths, and we tend to lose control of what we say or do. In a world that values self control, its nice to have that pass to act up and do what we normally wouldn't do. We've all been known to act a little crazy and smile a little harder when we are drunk. Almost like our alter ego comes out after a couple of drinks.

I can't sit here and preach to you and ruin your good time. But I want to make it clear, that messing round with random men when you're drunk can be a dangerous game. When we are drunk, we are more likely to sleep with people we would never even think about sleeping with; we risk doing dumb shit like confessing our undying love for our boss or not using protection. Hormones tend to do the walking for us. And next morning, we may wake up with massive hangovers, feeling regret and shame about our actions the night before.

The tipsy hookup can be fun when executed right. You may feel a little more relaxed and uninhibited after two shots. Take 5 shots, though, and your setting yourself up for a nice bowl of next-day regret. After one drink, most females embrace their inner pornstar but after 5, we might get a little sloppy which is definitely not cute. Studies have shown that sexual performance, along with other motor coordination skills, declines at a blood alcohol content of .06 to .10. You'll be less sensitive to stimuli and less coordinated at providing stimuli. If you're male, you may be less able to maintain an erection and achieve an orgasm.

And you're obviously not at your peak decision-making capability after more than a few drinks. That same dude who you seen beginning of the night looking a hot mess, might just be looking like tyreses' fine ass after a few drinks. You might regret your choice of partner, the fact that you forgot about your boyfriend or the fact that you did it in the bathroom stall at some club.

Nothing goes worse with a hangover than an extra dose of regret.