I understand the legal reasons and benefits of being married, but I cant figure out what happens to a couple after marriage to make so many people go through with it. Does it make you feel more fulfilled? Are your reasons because of some type of religious belief, and if so I gotta ask weren't you fucking, sucking and all the other stuff before you got married, so where was your religion then? ? Is the thought of being called Mrs. somebody that important to you?
I understand, back in the day, as a result of lack of education women were expected to marry in order to find someone to support them. Especially since they did not have the knowledge to do many jobs. This leads us into the social and financial pressures that resulted in women getting married. This certainly is not the case today.
I bet you if I asked 5 guys the 7 most important things they plan to do in life, marriage wont even break the top 10 list for majority of them, but ask 5 women, who aren't bitter, the same question, and its on their to do list for of life somewhere before or after having a kid. Not saying there is anything wrong with this, but I'm just curious.
Personally, heres what I think. Biologically, the older you are, the less likely you are to have children. So naturally an older woman looks less appealing to a man who is looking to have a child. And a woman who is single is seen as undesirable because something must be wrong with her for someone to not be with her. You throw in the fact that America is based on protestant beliefs of which the laws are built (i.e. marriage being seen as more valid than just relationships), and you have your answer...BECAUSE SOCIETY SAYS SO.
You arent good if you dont have kids by a certain age, you arent good if you are alone, and you arent good if you arent valid in the eyes of the law. So many women feel the pressure and dont feel they are worthy until they are married. They feel like others see them as undesirable or they may see themselves as undesirable.
What are your thoughts?
I understand, back in the day, as a result of lack of education women were expected to marry in order to find someone to support them. Especially since they did not have the knowledge to do many jobs. This leads us into the social and financial pressures that resulted in women getting married. This certainly is not the case today.
I bet you if I asked 5 guys the 7 most important things they plan to do in life, marriage wont even break the top 10 list for majority of them, but ask 5 women, who aren't bitter, the same question, and its on their to do list for of life somewhere before or after having a kid. Not saying there is anything wrong with this, but I'm just curious.
Personally, heres what I think. Biologically, the older you are, the less likely you are to have children. So naturally an older woman looks less appealing to a man who is looking to have a child. And a woman who is single is seen as undesirable because something must be wrong with her for someone to not be with her. You throw in the fact that America is based on protestant beliefs of which the laws are built (i.e. marriage being seen as more valid than just relationships), and you have your answer...BECAUSE SOCIETY SAYS SO.
You arent good if you dont have kids by a certain age, you arent good if you are alone, and you arent good if you arent valid in the eyes of the law. So many women feel the pressure and dont feel they are worthy until they are married. They feel like others see them as undesirable or they may see themselves as undesirable.
What are your thoughts?
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Well, sound like ladies may have a lot of issues. I can't speak for others but most of my team has marriage within their important top 10. It's just a matter of marriage when their ready.I'm not so sure about lack of education idea because I know my parents, aunts, etc are "old school" and their smart as hell. I just think that society had better morals in the previous generations.Family mattered in a way it doesn't to people today. It wasn't about fuckin' and Suckin' it was about feeling fulfilled that you can actually have a another person want to dedicate their life to you and the idea of raising a family. Today's woman, or at least the women I know are just as focused on marriage BUT it will be on their terms. That may mean running their businesses, traveling the world, etc...
ReplyDeleteI think marriage isn't only desired because of the idea of having a life partner, but in America, marriage represents a status symbol. It represents some sort of achievement, and many women desire that.
ReplyDeleteI want to get married, but it's not priority in my life right now. However, I do have friends who wish to get married ASAP and hopefully be housewives (something I would never want to be).
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First time here and OMG I think I love you already cause I agree with you to a T and someone who has done it, and was under EXTREME family pressure (and religious too) to go through with something I've NEVER in essence cared for, I Still feel you and cosign
I much rather have a an equal, commited faithful partner as long as he wants to be there than go through the rigmarole of the wedding/dress/paper/just to please some convention
I think people just want that one person who they can love and can love them in return ...forever. That, and it's the notion of "The American Dream". You can't achieve that dream without having a family of your own...
ReplyDelete--And you can't really have a family of your own without marriage, at least not in the US. I don't mind marriage at all... but weddings? You don't want to get me started on weddings.
My thoughts are that you should go deeper with this. Your concepts and views are very unique and extremely on point. This entry needs a part 2.
ReplyDeleteYea, K.Michel and Beautiful.Conjured.Up, Thats what I am saying, everyone just wants to live according to these ideals that society(America) sets for us. Even though we can be an an equally good relationship without a marriage. Marriage is just another label. Being able to call someone our husband/wife doesn't make your relationship any stronger. If your relationship was strong before, it'll stay strong even without that.
ReplyDeleteI used to give this example to my world traveling buddy who has issue for the "institute" of marriage. Yeah you don't "need" it to be in the good relationship but hey I don't "need" a drivers license to be able to drive but getting one and abiding by it is me publically holding up my responsibility to be a quality driver. I think there's something to be said to be able to public state your devotion to a person and live up to that statement.
ReplyDeleteTrue, it's not needed but there is a difference. lol
I still disagree. You get a license because its the law and you want to abide by it. There is no law that states you need to be married. But there is expectations. So, what you are trying to say is you don't need to be married to be in a good relationship with someonee but getting married and staying married is you publically holding up your responsibility to be a quality lover? lmfao
ReplyDeleteI think if you are in a good relationship with someone, then you don't need to publicly declare it. You already know what it is. There is two people in the relationship. Not you and the whole damn public. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
And very often, women will settle for someone even if he isn't "the one" for the simple fact that they can have someone to call their husband.
I think for a lot of things (not just this topic) especially in our generation the "I don't have to prove anything to anyone" rationale is used when discussing traditional issues. I see pro's and con's to that.
ReplyDeleteI don't see it as proof.But I would ask a few questions then out of curiousity. If it was up to you(or anyone) to change, would marriage have been abolished all together? Or would you adopt something else?Also what do you think of the successful marriages that have or currently do exist?
I think a lot of women get married prematurely because it was one of their life goals or dreams. i believe everyone thinks there's someone out there for them whether they want to marry them or not has nothing to do with society; i dont think society or anyone for that matter can pressure you to doing something you dont wanna do. I think its all about self in society if you know who you are and aren't presuaded by the masses then what the masses thinks wont bother you.
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