Hangover+Extra Dose Of Regret=Not a Good Look

Most people who know me refer to me as the "lush" of the bunch. I always know all the good drinks at whatever bar/restaurant we are at. I love a good cocktail. However, I DO NOT love to get so sloppy drunk that I have to be carried out of the bar by people. That is just not cute.

When we are tipsy, thoughts are all over the place in our brains, slip out of our mouths, and we tend to lose control of what we say or do. In a world that values self control, its nice to have that pass to act up and do what we normally wouldn't do. We've all been known to act a little crazy and smile a little harder when we are drunk. Almost like our alter ego comes out after a couple of drinks.

I can't sit here and preach to you and ruin your good time. But I want to make it clear, that messing round with random men when you're drunk can be a dangerous game. When we are drunk, we are more likely to sleep with people we would never even think about sleeping with; we risk doing dumb shit like confessing our undying love for our boss or not using protection. Hormones tend to do the walking for us. And next morning, we may wake up with massive hangovers, feeling regret and shame about our actions the night before.

The tipsy hookup can be fun when executed right. You may feel a little more relaxed and uninhibited after two shots. Take 5 shots, though, and your setting yourself up for a nice bowl of next-day regret. After one drink, most females embrace their inner pornstar but after 5, we might get a little sloppy which is definitely not cute. Studies have shown that sexual performance, along with other motor coordination skills, declines at a blood alcohol content of .06 to .10. You'll be less sensitive to stimuli and less coordinated at providing stimuli. If you're male, you may be less able to maintain an erection and achieve an orgasm.

And you're obviously not at your peak decision-making capability after more than a few drinks. That same dude who you seen beginning of the night looking a hot mess, might just be looking like tyreses' fine ass after a few drinks. You might regret your choice of partner, the fact that you forgot about your boyfriend or the fact that you did it in the bathroom stall at some club.

Nothing goes worse with a hangover than an extra dose of regret.

Break Up Sex-Save The Best For Last?

It happens all the time. You get into an argument with your significant other, and right before you sever ties, liberating yourself from it all, you decide to get in that one last fuck. And in return you end up getting the greatest breakup consolation prize: THE BEST SEX EVER. Not the ordinary relationship sex, I'm talking "grabbing the sheets, sweaty and gasping for air when your done" sex. Save the best for last huh? Maybe. But with the best sex ever also comes the pain of loss and completely unavoidable self flagellation. For some people, it does more harm than good.

You should not attempt to have breakup sex if it's evident the other person is still madly in love with you. This means they definitely want to fuck if that’s all they can get. Trust me, after the breakup sex, they will be even more clingy and psychotic than they were before. You should also refrain from having sex if you're leaving your significant other to be with someone else that you've already started to fuck around with. That's just fucking greedy. And definitely no goodbye sex if you are breaking up with the person because they haven't successfully given you an orgasm in months. Breakup sex is not an orgasm revisited. Only have sex if you're breaking up in person, and the hormones and emotions are intense but not to the psychotic/possible future stalker point. Break-up sex is angry, and that's what makes it so hot. Get as much of that pent up anger out - the lies, the betrayal, the embarrassment, and can't forget about the sickened stomach churning feeling you get when you look at his filthy cheating ass face now - all of those things can be used channeled constructively into having some sweaty ROUGH sex. No kissing allowed. Especially if you never tried it while you were together, it will add a nice little kinky touch to the departure. It makes angry sex twice as angry and more detached, and that's exactly what it needs to be.

You really don’t need to stay and cuddle. There is also no need to sit there and contemplate about whether you should kiss him goodbye or when the best time for you to leave is. After you get your last orgasm, get your ass up, put on your damn clothes and bounce.

And please, whatever you do, please don’t act like a dumb bitch in the heat of passion and knee-clenching orgasms, that you forget about how he played your ass. Or that even though prior to the breakup sex, he clearly stated that they did not want to be with you, you think that the relationship is back on.

Letting go of someone who was once a constant in your life is never easy, but the break up sex is simply a parting gift, nothing more.