Opposites Don't Attract.

Somewhere in my weekly evaluations of my life , I had an epiphany about my asshole ex and every other Mr. Wrong I dated and mated.

On some level, I was dating who I was at the time.

It is kinda hard to imagine that, given the parade of losers that have made pit stops in and out of my life.Sad, but true.When I met my ex aka “Jerk”, I was a mess. I was a broken, irresponsible, lost person who would seek comfort not from my friends, but from liquor. I was also pretty damn selfish not giving a shit what anyone thought or how I made them feel. And the only real difference between me and “Jerk” was the degree to which we were both drinking, broken, irresponsible, lost and selfish.

I looked better. I smelled better. I had a degree. But on a certain level, “Jerk” and I had a lot in common: We were both selfish alcoholics who didn’t give a shit about anything anymore, tarnished from past relationships and betrayal from friends, scorning the world without any real good reason.

Opposites don't attract. The head on the coin and the tail on the coin look different on the surface, but they're made out of the same material and they're hiding out in the same wallet.Are you dating a lame? Someone who you know isn’t good for you? Someone who seems to be your complete opposite? Someone you keep asking yourself why you ever even started dating?

Chances are, you're probably dating your own insecurities, your own disappointments, your own unsettled issues. And the longer you stay in the relationship, the more deeper your problems and insecurities will be.

Make the switch. Cut him off. ASAP.

I did.

A Man Is Not The Answer To Every Problem. More Fuckery.

And the fuckery just does not stop.

So, I was speaking to my friend after a long time yesterday and she starts telling me about all her financial problems she's been having since she got laid off. After about an hour of crying and complaining, her tone of voice suddenly becomes optimistic, it was if she had an epiphany, the most absurd and stupid epiphany I have ever heard. She proceeds to tell me that the only solution to her problem is finding a man that can fulfill her emotional and financial needs-her epiphany. SMH! One of the most important lessons I have learned in my dating experiences is that it's impossible to make good decisions on who you need to date when you're in the midst of a major life crisis.

When you've been laid off of work and are damn near filing for bankruptcy, you don't need a man. You need to go out looking for another job.

When your situation at home with your family/rommate is so bad that you spend as much time as possible out of the house or locked in your room, you dont need a man. You need to find a new apartment.

When you're all depressed and suffering becuase you found out you contracted a STD, you don't need a man. You need a fuckin doctor.

Having a man is not going to make the mess you've made of your own life magically turn out alright. It's up to you to save yourself. This is extremely hard for you serial lovers, the chicks who stay falling in love at first sight and meeting a different soulmate each week. Yea, - know when your in love, all the shittyness of life morphs into vibrant color and even annoying ass people you can't stand, become tolerable. But most times love at first sight is like hope at first sight. Or "desperate need for a mate to get through this shit I'm dealing with" at first sight. Or maybe even "mind blowing fuck that can make me forget that I am about to get kicked out my apartment 'cause I can't pay my rent" at first sight. Sad. I know you are smiling and shaking your head while you are reading this because you know someone who fits the description. Seriously though, that bum ass nigga you pick up at the club–in my case, figuratively, not literally–is not going to make your life any easier. He's going to be one more fuckin problem for you to solve.

Please do yourself a favor(and the sorry sap who will have to put up with your shit), and just start solving the problems you already have instead of pulling other people into your already fucked up life.